Her Humanity
by Crystal-Bulma
Summary: Seras Victoria clings to her humanity. How far does she goes to keep it? How does Alucard feel about it?


Disclaimer: I'm a 22-year-old female. I live in South Africa. I'm writing fan fictions for the fun of it. Does that sound like the owner of Hellsing?

Author note: This is just a short little one-shot featuring Alucard and Seras! Please Read and Review! ;o)

Intro: Seras Victoria clings to her humanity. How far does she goes to keep it? How does Alucard feel about it?

Her Humanity

It's always the same. The same thing night after night. Freaks with their ghouls and she with the human squad. Banging down doors, kill a couple mindless ghouls, see her master's bored expression before he exploits the little fun he can have with the Freak, then return back to the Hellsing Mansion, report in and go to bed. Routine. This is what her life is going to be like forever. All that will change is the faces! And so it came that she ran yet again. Down the hallway of yet another dark deserted apartment building. Gunshots were sounding behind her, informing her that the squad has made contact with the ghouls. Keeping her senses alert, she continued on down the mouldy hallway. Intel spotted unharmed survivors upstairs and she will be damned if anything happened to them because she was to slow to save them! A quick flash before her made her speed up. _'The Freak Vampire! He is heading towards the hostages!'_  
Taking the stairs two at a time, Seras kicked the rickety door down on the upper floor, surprising the chipped-vampire. Turning to face her, he was about to say something but never got the chance. The petit fledgling had already lowered her halconnon and took aim, before filling the target with an incendiary shell, Walter's favourite, the VT explosive charge number 4, red! When the smoke started to clear thou, Seras face went even paler than what is possible. Her charge... It went right thru him... And the innocents behind him! Dropping her cannon, she only stared as the lifeless woman dropped to the ground. Neither she nor the baby clutched in her arms made a sound. There was no pain on their faces, no tears. They were both... dead. Taking a step back, Seras Victoria felt tears springing in her eyes. "Oh God no..."  
So she turned and ran. Leaving the other survivors to stare in shock and her fellow squad members confused as she raced past them.

Waking slowly, Seras sat up. She didn't wake with a start anymore. She didn't scream and struggled for release from the haunting nightmare. She just woke with this terrible dread in her. It's been nearly a month now and it was still the only thing she saw when she closed her eyes and every time it made her feel all the more like a monster. Rising from the bed she occupied, she slowly walked over to the bathroom mirror. Staring at herself, she wished that Vampire legends were true. She wished that there would be no reflection. But there was. And she had to look herself in the eyes every time. Her once blue eyes were supposed to be red now, but even that wasn't true. Her eyes were a strange colour. A mix between yellow and faded orange. Snorting at herself, she couldn't help but wonder what her master would say if he saw her like this.  
_'Like he even cared! I ran away three weeks ago and he still hasn't shown his face.'_

Walking out of her room, she headed downstairs. The metallic smell of blood filled her nose. It was still feeding time. Entering the great hall, she noticed that she arrived in the peak hour. Thirty-two of the fifty-one vampires that stayed in the old mansion near the border of France in Switzerland were currently enjoying their ration of the blood being supplied to them. Walking past the main tables, Seras headed for the one in the corner - The one being occupied by fledglings without masters. Discrimination wasn't just for the living as Seras found out as soon as she got here. The main table was for pureblooded vampires only. The centre tables were for Sires with their childe. And then there were the broken wooden tables at the back for fledglings who were abandoned by their sires or whose sires died before they were given a chance to drink.

"Hey Vicky! You gonna drink today or can I have your portion?" The two identical brunettes sitting eitherside of the spiky haired blonde male slapped him across the back of his head.  
"Honestly Richard!"  
"Give her a chance to sit down!"  
Smiling she took a seat opposite them. "You can have it."  
Before Richard could drink it however, Krezinda grabbed the blood pack before saying, "I think you should drink tonight, Vicky."  
"Yeah" Krezelda continued "You haven't drank anything since you got here."  
"And if she doesn't want to... You can't make her!" Richard countered as he tied to grab it from the twins. Smiling weakly, Seras lowered her head onto her folded arms. This seems to stop Richard.  
Leaning to her, he spoke softly. "You know, you don't have to decline it just because I want it."  
Not looking at him, she still answered. "It's okay. I really don't want it."  
"Guys! Have I got good news?" Turning to face the excited voice, Seras smiled at the young boy. He must be the youngest vampire she has ever seen, his body only twelve when he was embraced.  
"Won't know if you don't tell." Richard remarked. Sticking his tongue out at the older boy, Billy sat down next to Seras.  
"Apparently there is this strong Vampire on his way here because he is looking for a fledgling! We might be able to get a second sire!" Excitement filled all of their eyes.  
Seras quickly covered hers. She didn't want another master! She wanted hers! _'But he doesn't care. He would only come for me if Sir Integra ordered y death.'  
'No. She would first need to know that your not in London anymore.'_  
Startled, she turned at the voice in her head. "Master?" She asked out loud. But he wasn't there. Bewildered looks came all at the table.  
"You know what? I think the girls are right. You need to drink." Richard said as she stared at her face holding out the blood.  
Sighing to herself, Seras got up and said to them before walking out. "I won't drink human blood."

Entering her room, Seras slumped down the wall and rested her head against the cool tiles. _'I could have sworn I heard Master's voice! I guess being blood starved makes you hear things.'  
'I wouldn't know. I happen to like blood.'_  
Jumping up, she was sure now. He was here. "This is not funny Master!"  
Taking shape behind her, Alucard didn't have any humour in his face. Slowly and silently he removed a blood pack from his red coat and in one smooth motion had his fledgling pinned underneath him. Sitting on her chest to restrain her from running, he pinned her arms above her head with one hand as the other forced the blood pack to her protesting mouth.  
"Swallow." He said with a deathly calm. Resisting, she struggled to release her hands and tried to turn her face. Alucard merely pressed the blood pack firmer into her fangs.  
"Swallow." He repeated, but this time his tone held a hidden threat. Clear tears started to roll down her face as she slowly swallowed the blood. Only when the pack was completely dry, did Alucard stand up again. Tossing the clear pack into the bin, he turned to face her as she still lay on the floor. The tears flowing more freely now.  
"Why feed me when you're only here to kill me? Does my pain entertain you so much?" She asked in a hoarse whisper.  
Smiling, Alucard sat down on her bad. "There is nothing I enjoy more than seeing you squirm." Staring at her from the corner of his eyes, he noticed that she didn't even blush. _'You still don't have enough blood in you, do you Police Girl?'_  
Flinching at his words in her head, she slowly sat up. "Why are you here, Master?"  
"To take you home."  
Frowning, she glared at him. "I've been gone three weeks. Why now?"  
Sighing, Alucard turned to face her fully. "Because you killed an innocent." Pain shot thru her again. Taking another blood pack out of his coat he handed it to her, before continuing.  
"If I game immediately and shielded you... would you still regret it or would you forget it?"  
Taking the blood from him, she questioned, "Master?"  
"In order to help you cling to your humanity, I left you to your pain. The more you feel for their deaths, the more connected you are to your human side. It's when you kill them and feel nothing that I will be at your side in a second. Relish in your pain. Know that you're humanity in still in you." Standing, he walked to the door, before finishing. "Now drink. Your eyes are to pale."

Taking the blood to her lips, she thought to herself. Her Master was someone she would never understand. He's by far the biggest arrogant, self-centred, homicidal, egotistical, insane bloodsucking monster... but them he comes to her aid. Shield her from depleted uranium, from the Paladin Anderson and even from Sir Integra. And know, he knew what was really going thru her mind even if she never voiced it. Her master was an enigma. And even if it took all of eternity, she would make him proud. Finishing of the blood, she walked downstairs again. Stopping in front of her friends, she spoke in a clear voice as she felt her master's presence forming behind her.  
"I lied to you all. I'm not Vicky Anders. My name is Seras Victoria. I'm the childe of Alucard. I will keep my humanity and one day... I will take you all as my fledglings." Feeling her Master's arm wrapped around her waist, she finished. "And I will never drink from a human neck or forget the value of a human life."  
"Lets go home, Police girl." Alucard smirked into her neck as he fazed them away.

Author note: I don't know how this is. I don't even know that to qualify it under. It just came to me and I had to wonder what type of master Alucard really is to Seras. I actually wanted it to be a Seras/Alucard romance, but my fingers decided this. Please review. ;o)


End file.
